"It's like a terrible death or like a massive earthquake," said Kirsty McCluskley. But what was she describing? What was this calamity of earth-shattering importance? What appalling body count could be ascribed to it?
She was, of course, describing the realisation that some of the best paid people in the country were going to lose their jobs and would have to go and work for the people across the street instead or maybe, shock horror, go out there are get a real job. Yes, it's the Lehman Bros story. (I like abbreviating them thus - it makes them look like a tawdry department store, paint peeling, unnatural smell in the toilets, moths the best customers, etc.) Kirsty used to work on their trading floor, hence the belief that the drying up of the goodies in her trough is a calamity on a global, nay, galactic, level.
No, this isn't going to be another naive rant about the financial sector, not even for the amusement of Betty (see earlier post). But - come on guys! If you build your glittering palace not only on sand but out of sand, and then expect the rest of us to stand around and hold it all up while you lie back on your sun-loungers basking in the sunshine, please don't also expect us to rebuild it for you when it collapses. Or, to put it another way, you ain't done nothing for me lately - explain, please, why my tax pounds should be thrown into your pockets to help you put your farcical charade back together again. Well would you look it that - turns out it was another rant after all.
Anyway, there is some good news. Just think about all the senior managers, most of whose bonuses for the last year or two were paid in shares in the firm. It's not money, it's schadenfreude that makes the world go round.
And, to move on to another of my favourite subjects - the doyenne of literature, (the no-doubt soon to be Dame) J K Rowling. I know it's old news, but from way back in April, courtesy of the BBC:
"...publication of an unofficial Harry Potter encyclopaedia could 'open the floodgates' for countless rip-offs. All writers would be threatened by the move..."
Come on, everyone, show your appreciation to Ms Rowling for her kind, selfless and, oh, self-enriching action. It gets better, though. In September, we have the following, also from the BBC:
"...She had been planning to write her own definitive encyclopaedia, the proceeds of which she had intended to donate to charity. However, she told the court in April she is not sure if she has 'the will or the heart' to do it after all."
So it's all the fault of this lexicon-writing fan that she's now going to sulk and not publish a book in aid of charity. Suffer the little children. Come on J K - all you need to do is staff it out - how difficult can it be to cobble together any old guide to the books - it doesn't even need to be any good - the public will buy it... Come to think of it, since you've recently been in court showing that you already own the intellectual rights to it, just publish your ex-fan's lexicon yourself under your own name. Job done, charity richer. I'll waive my fee for the idea.
The growth continues apace atop Mr Grass-Head. We'll have a veritable forest before too long. Since I short-changed you yesterday with a, frankly, rubbish photograph, here's a better one. He's a bit thin on top but getting quite luxuriant around the edge. I fear he may become a monk.
Does every new blogger begin with best intentions of twice daily postings, witty repartee with those posting comment, early serialisation in respected journals and, before the year is out, a book deal, a film deal and a percentage of the soundtrack and action figures? Probably. Well, I'm not convinced I'll manage all of that, although there may be a niche in the market for an executive toy blogger figurine.As you will know already, if you've read the title, I'm an unpublished author. I've written two children's books and am part way to being able to redecorate my home using rejection letters as wallpaper.Maybe my writing is just no good, maybe my style doesn't fit with what marketing says is needed this year or maybe the literary agents I've contacted so far only read every seventeenth letter that is sent to them due to the problem that their days are no longer than those of mere mortals (such as I) and yet they have a Herculean amount of ordure shovelling to perform just to check that their desk is the same colour that it was last year.Maybe I'm out of touch with what children read. There could be truth to this. Other than JKR's HP books, I haven't read any other children's books since I was a child. And, just to deal with the elephant in the room right now...I'm not expecting to be the next JKR. I feel that, at the very least, my writing is not any worse than much dross which is already published and so I deserve a chance, at least as much as the next scribbler. I do not begrudge her a penny of her income (even though, from what I read in the newspaper, I felt her attack on the author of the HP Lexicon was petty). Personally, I felt that the HP books became overlong and bloated towards the end, almost as though the editor was too frightened of being replaced to suggest a much-needed pruning. But those feelings might have been manifestations of my growing ever more envious as the series continued. I hope not.The latest news on my journey to publication is... (Well, I don't want to name names because it's inadvisable to pass comment on someone who might provide help, guidance, income...)So, the books are with an editor, who is an acquaintance of a friend and who works for a major publishing house. This editor kindly agreed to take a look. And, after waiting about two months, I wrote what I hope is a polite and friendly email about twenty minutes ago as a reminder. I claimed it wasn't meant as a nag, which probably will sound like a lie, and that I was only asking for a guess as to when I might hear something. I then padded the email with some other nonsense about how I'd only sent a sample of the work but that I could send it all (which I'd said two months ago when I originally sent the work) - mainly because I felt I should at least pretend I had something more to say.I'll post updates on here, which will either be celebratory or, if not, will probably be unfairly vitriolic but hopefully interested, pithy, etc.Further posts may or may not deal with such subjects as maintaining a Korg M1 keyboard, whether SimpleHuman will actually send me a replacement kitchen bin free of charge, and why my local swimming pool has closed the children's pool for the entire month of August. If anyone reads this blog and has any feelings about which, if any, of the above are interesting, feel free to place a request.
