Holding on to the title

Holding on to the title...

Could it be about Thameslink Railway trying to retain the crown of least appreciated rail franchise in Britain? With their rickety-rackety old trains with hilariously non-closing doors - and other circus clown techniques... (This morning, they managed to turn a 19 minute journey into a 65 minute adventure.)

No.

Maybe it's about a company called Parking Nose (or something like that - I forget the exact facial feature they compare themselves to) and their dastardly approach of sending out parking charge notices just in case motorists might have overstayed. I think they're going for the Amalric award. Given that there is little cost to them in throwing out spurious charges - and much to be gained from scaring the innocent into paying up - this is a cunning business plan.

But no, not them either.

Could I be referring to something about sport? That's got titles in it. World number one, European champion. Grandmaster. No shortage of titles for people to hold on to. Am I about to launch into something about that?

No. (I almost never refer to anything about sport. I think that's an overcrowded area and there are enough people pontificating about it without the impediment of knowledge, experience or common sense. There's no need for me to add to their number.)

How about Trump? (He's not going to like that. I've put him in fourth place on my list.) He's holding on to the title of President-Elect, as well as the title of least presidential approach to Twitter. He's also going for the title of proposing an argument so tortuous that Pina Conti might have trouble with it - the suggestion that the election was definitely rigged and that he definitely won. And that there's no need to have any recount or investigation.

No. As with sport, there's no need for me to add to the word-count. But for different reasons.

How about longest personal delay between blog posts on this blog? Technically, I have just awarded myself that title. But it couldn't be that because I would have written this sooner, thereby making it easier for me to break my own record. I'd have had the record several times by now if I'd been taking that approach.

So no, it's not that.

(Incidentally, there has been a minor lag, an interruption in service if you will, due to the other stuff I've been doing. Yes, I've been taking on paid writing assignments. And while it's lovely to write for you, dear reader, it's less to my pecuniary advantage. Maybe once a few billion of you have read this and clicked on some of the adverts, I might be paid enough for a cup of tea or something. But I'm not even close yet.)

The answer, as I'm sure you're already aware is...

Actually, I'll tell you tomorrow. Feel free to place your guess in the comment box. A prize for the best attempt, where 'best' could mean closest, most entertaining, closest to libellous or featuring the best use of a neologism. Or something else.